Done Procrastinating

Done Procrastinating

I have been married 10 freaking years. We've actually been separated for all but 2 or so of them. I was stupid and thought I was in love. The truth is, married him for all the wrong reasons (it was a shotgun wedding) now I wish he'd drive off a fucking cliff. This whole time i've been hoping he would file for divorce. Why wouldn't he since he's been engaged twice since our separation.

The obvious notion here is that he is using our marriage to control his new woman "if you don't do this I won't file for divorce" not to mention, since now i'm finally taking the initiative to get this shit done, it's going to cost $500 to file if you don't know where the other party is. Bullshit right? UGH! 

The good news is they may or may not be able to fix the issue regarding my youngest son Tristan. Since I was married to dumbass when I gave birth, he needed to be on the birth certificate or they would refuse to issue me a copy. in the words of Maury, "You are not the father" now before you judge, we both had a baby with other people. In fact his youngest is only 1 fucking day older than mine! I guess it's fate or a crazy coincidence but as it were, i'm not the only sinner in this fucked up fairytale. So hopefully he will have his rights revoked and I will finally be able to change my youngest's last name from drvodelfuck (not his real last name but close) to my maiden last name. Which will mean happy faces and drinks all around.

The sad thing about all this is i'm too got-damned broke to fight for my other son G-Baby. I'm going to try to at least get joint custody or even visitation will suffice. I feel guilty and regretful on the daily about how things ended up with him. At the same time, if they hadn't ended up as they did, I most likely wouldn't even have birthed my little one who changed my life for the greater good, Thank Jesus.

Another reason why i'm lighting a fire under my own ass to get it over with is because i'm seeing someone and have a feeling it's going to end with perhaps a Happily Ever After? nah, but maybe something close to it. I was in a different relationship once and I think it went sour because I never took the initiative to divorce dumbass. History tends to repeat itself and i'm not trying to lose another good thing. Either way, baby steps.

I got the guts to take the first step and called the Domestic Relations Court in my county and explain my dilemma. They were very helpful except when they dropped the price atomic bomb on my ass. $500 buckaroos to 1. pay court costs and 2. pretty much reimburse them for their tactics of trying to locate dumbass. They put an ad in the paper and give him 28 days to respond to the court. That won't be hard to avoid because all I know about his current location is that it is not in Ohio. Don't have to worry about a response.

I've never been divorced before and I never been to court except for truancy when I was about 15 or 16 and that bullshit got expunged anyway. I want to finally let go of the past shit and move on with my life as my own person and not an estranged worthless wife to an abusive controlling and narcissistic prick. So as soon as tax return time comes i'm filing. That's all there is, there isn't any more.