Quarantined with Mental Illness

Quarantined With Mental Illness

          I think we're all going crazy in our own ways from this COVID-19 Quarantine. As an Ohioan, our Governor Mike Dewine is doing plenty to keep his constituents safe from harm. Who is keeping us safe from ourselves though?

          My family have been losing their minds, especially myself after going on a 3 week Leave of Absence from work in concern for my elderly parents. However I get out of the house least of everyone. It has begun to take a toll on my mental health.

          I have become extremely irritable and will snap out at family for little to no reason. There has been no one to really share my feelings with and bottling them up has done little good for me. I end up just exploding.

          I got into a fight with practically everyone in the house one day and wanted to self-harm as I have done in the past. I took a permanent marker and started drawing intricate designs on myself as pictured. I have been trying not to cut with sharp objects because of the incident last time I did that resulted in me needing stitches.

          I have also expressed an interest in reading just to escape all of the drama i'm enduring at home.  A lot of yelling, and drinking. Tons of favoritism that just won't go away no matter how often I try to express my feelings about it. I am invalidated and things continue as they were. I have decided to finish reading the books that I would finish reading the books that I had bookmarked and shelved away.

          Then a couple things happened that made me extremely happy. Not only did my boss call me to put me back in rotation on the schedule, but I also got to switch my shift from close to days which had me stressed because my parents kept nagging me to quit just because of my hours. I was working 8:00 PM - 1:00 AM or so. Now my schedule is 11:00 AM - 4:00 PM which is so much better that now I won't have to quit, That is the one place where I can be myself and feel like i'm actually liked minus a few little high school girls who like to whisper and giggle about me behind my back to each other.

          I don't know how much longer this will go on but I'm hopeful that at least I will survive it... hopefully!