Christmas Blues

Christmas Blues

How was your Christmas? Honestly, mine was a disaster. My sister was being a selfish drunk ass on Christmas Eve and Christmas day, my parents had both been drinking the whole two days as well but they can hold their alcohol a little better than my sister can. So because of my sister's drinking she mainly laid around and was being a bitch. My mom was very snappy at me getting mad at me for every little thing I said. I decided i'm no longer going to talk to her since everything I say gets twisted around anyway and leaves me very frustrated.

another horrible thing is the kids came over which was more teenage testosterone than I could handle. The fucked up thing about that is their mother had the audacity to not even show up because sleeping was more important than thanking my parents for the $50 dollar visa cards they purchased for each of her five fucking kids. None which show any gratitude thanks to this woman's lack of effective parenting.

The night ended with me disappearing up the stairs to my bedroom with my dog at 6:30 PM and staying up there the rest of the night because I was tired of my sister's lazy drunk ass and my mom's snapping at me for everything like a fucking crocodile. She got mad at me for telling her I was gonna pick up a little and for offering to put an uncooked pie away. like who the fuck gets mad at someone offering to help? I'm now done talking to my mother as I have previously said and I'm way done talking to my sister.

What I find almost funny about both of my parents being alcoholics is that my dad would exchange concerns with my mother about her health from drinking when he too drinks all damn day long and was adviced by doctors not to for his health. Despite sharing my concerns being a recovering alcoholic myself. (October 28th, 2018) I'm rather tired of their excuses. "We'll quit after the holidays" which I don't believe for a second. All they do is make up excuses to drink again. stressed about this or that. but I shouldn't drink because I have nothing to be stressed about. Like hello do you ever thing how you act towards me isn't stressful? You don't see me picking up a bottle at every turn of an imaginary stress.

I craved beer like crazy this holiday but I fought the craving. it's too bad when you live with a bunch of weak people. I hope things look up for me soon. This lack of being able to escape to work every day is going to kill my spirit. plans are get my son off to school every morning and then hide out in my bedroom until it's time to pick him up. then ignore my family. it's not like they're gonna quit drinking. I swear it's going to literally be the death of them. I'll be happy when the season is finally over and just be done with this bullshit