Friday, June 1, 2018

Son's Diagnoses

Son's Diagnoses

This is my son Tristan. He just turned six years old and like any child there's joy and there's frustrations. He is hyper and likes to drive me completely bonkers! it's like he's unsatisfied with his day until I get mad at him 30 times in that span of time. He's relatively normal except for one dilemma, He's been diagnosed with Severe ADHD disorder with a co-existing ODD disorder.

ADHD is the acronym for Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. I've known for a while that he's different from other kids and seemed to be somewhat behind in his development. He gets frustrated and angry easily and he has a hard time listening to instructions and consequences. Don't get me wrong he's not all troublesome. He's really sweet when he wants to be and is extremely intelligent! He's been the apple of my eye since birth and this diagnosis doesn't change that fact.

His second diagnosis which is Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Pretty much in this case is where they get satisfaction on defying orders and are very argumentative. it's really their way or the highway and they are very bad at taking consequences seriously. He tends to purposely push my buttons and uses my weaknesses against me. His day isn't made until I yell at him and I suppose the negative attention is better than no attention for him. Sometimes when I ask him to do something he will be like "or else you'll do this mommy?" and names a likely consequence which is usually either not letting him play with a cellphone or a time out.

I'm not gonna lie, he got the disorder from both parent and sperm donor. We're both bad with our ADHD and ODD. Unfortunately his "sperm donor" never grew out of his ODD as for me it took me until well into my twenties to realize where I was wrong with my behavior. I have an idea how frustrated he gets. For him it's like putting a first grader into Jr. High. Can you imagine how overwhelming and frustrating that would be? Another truth is that i'm at fault for expecting too much of him and try to force him to "act his age" when he literally can't because of these disorders.

I was reading pamphlets about ADHD in children and the older they get, the bigger the gap between their age and their mental age. The gap gets wider unless there's an early intervention and new strategies used to help them cope while they are young. I also ordered a couple parenting with children suffering from ADHD books to teach me strategies and better understand his mindset. He is also going to be seeing a counselor and a psychiatrist for his med needs and taking swimming classes to release some energy.

There's a lot of controversy over young children taking meds for mental disorders so please don't judge me. My son often gets out of control with his aggression and doesn't take directions well. He doesn't focus well and his behavior and moods are all over the place. Going into kindergarten this coming fall, i'm afraid he will be one of those kids who end up making friends (not in a positive way) with the principle. I personally believe there should be a bit of stability for school and the family's sanity.

Nevertheless, he's a good boy and has his positives. He's extremely smart, he's handy and likes to fix objects (break them too), he loves being active and outside, He's got a thing for water like his mama, he has moments where he's incredibly kind and loving, not to mention he has a great sense of humor. Ultimately he has an amazing personality and he's very lovable.

Hopefully we can get past these hurdles and grow together as mother and son. I just want him to have the most fulfilling and happy life possible. He deserves that much.