Tis The Season For Tattoos

Tis The Season for Tattoos

Tax return is coming up which for any hard working person is a time to rejoice. I decided this tax return I may get one or two new tattoos. I always put thought into my ink. I have two and though I admit one was better thought out than the other, I love them both equally. I alway found tattoos as art and a way of story telling. Showing people who you really are through self-expression. Of course I draw the line at necks. I'm not a big fan of facial tattoos or spur of the moment, pick a picture off the wall tattoos. They're going to be on you forever, they should have sentimental purposes. I'm getting carried away here, I'd like to show you my near future plans.

I love my son more than anything in the world. So the first and most important piece will be this one. There will be a change to this though. Instead of the pink heart I'm going to change it into a bigger emerald heart pendant. This is because my son was born in May which makes the emerald his birth stone. This one will be placed on my right forearm since I have plans for sleeves. The right will be all of my blessings throughout my life. The left will be all my demons. My son will always be my little Angel though.

This is the second tattoo I'm planning to get. It'll probably be the more expensive of the two since it's full color and extremely detailed, therefore not a guaranteed purchase. There will be adjustments to this piece as well. I want the moon to look mean and angry. The meaning behind this one is that I have Bi-polar disorder which causes me to be like night and day. I can be the nicest most sweetest person on the planet. Or, I can be the cruelest bitch to walk the face of the earth when my meds wear off. Hence the angry moon. I suppose you can say my light and dark sides are at war.

Not To My Advantage

Not To My Advantage

I've been having a lot of bad luck. First I get my braces which would make you think yay on the road to being pretty. How about not? Not even 24 hours later a bracket pops off all because i'm trying to pull a strand of hair from my teeth. Before your mind drifts off to dirtville, the hair on my head is long and often gets chomped when I eat. So now on Thursday I have to get it fixed and they're going to charge me $25 for it. Not like the braces are expensive enough.

Need I mention how my dentist tried to play salesman with me yesterday? I use a CPAP machine and often get painful air bubbles in the bottom of my gums. I only asked him if it was normal and then he threw me a pitch without even answering the question. That was rather aggravating so when this braces conundrum is over i'm going to a different dentist.

Another frustrating occurrence would be how I got my CPAP machine in December. On the 16th to be exact. It clearly doesn't work. I'm still exhausted in the morning and have to keep myself going with cup after cup of coffee during the day. I wake up with painful bumps in my gums, an extremely dry mouth, absolutely no energy, and by the time I get home from work at 3:00 p.m. i'm ready for a nap. I also often get migraines from excessive caffeine intake. What else am I supposed to do having no energy? I honestly believe I feel worse than I did before getting that damned machine.

Last but not least. I was due for an Invega injection for my Bi-polar disorder and missed it. I went in early the day of my appointment and the nurse said she could see me. I returned from their internal pharmacy with my prescription and she made me wait 20 minutes. While I was waiting a girl came in to see my psychiatrist. We have the same nurse so my nurse then told me I have to wait until she saw the patients with appointments so I would have to wait until my appointment time. My father had driven me up there and was waiting so I got pissed off and told the secretary i'd come at a later date for the shot.

The event really triggered something in me because I was on a downward spiral from then on due to not getting my meds. I became pretty verbally hostile and provocative. I constantly went off on my mother and sister because I ultimately got tired of the favoritism that goes on with them. I did get my injection a week later and was also able to see my psychiatrist.

The only good thing to happen to me recently was a credit increase on one of my credit cards. I got to buy a few things for myself. A Hogwarts Harry Potter hoodie and lounge pants, a book, few things from the grocery store. It was nice. Of course now the card is maxed out but with tax returns coming up i'll get them paid off soon.

My Dad

My Dad

I tend to think back about my relationship with my dad. It's hard to believe that about 4 years ago we almost despised each other. We always butted heads and didn't see eye to eye on anything. We couldn't stand being near each other and had very little kind to say. In all honesty I disliked and feared him so much that to avoid contact with him I would only eat after he fell asleep and it wouldn't be much. It was either a sandwich or a bowl of soup and that was that.

Things seemed to shift after we both changed a bit. I grew up and started taking responsibility for my own actions. I successfully got a job that at first he didn't want me to have. I had another baby but I turned myself a round and started being responsible for this little life I brought into the world. My dad noticed I was actually trying and started to lay off me a little more and more as time passed.

We started seeing things clearly and with the same perception. I apologized for all the pain i've caused in the past and that I wanted to change and be a better me. I was working hard and not going out whenever I wanted. I would start helping out around the house with not even being asked most of the time.

Before I knew it both my father and my attitudes have changed. He began thanking me for things I did around the house, let me sleep in on the weekends without having to get yelled at (even though I would feel guilty about it when I wake up). I am more honest with him and give him a heads up on things so he won't get surprised instead of fishing for a "yes" from my mom. I can borrow money with his full confidence they'll get paid back in a timely manner. He and I now enjoy talking to each other and spending time together.

My dad defends me during arguments, and my mom says it's easy to see i'm his favorite. That works for me because my sister is hers.

Sometimes change can be an amazing thing. We both changed and now I couldn't see myself living without my dad, you can say i'm a bit of a daddy's girl. God helped shape me into a type of person my dad wanted me to become. I may not be 100% there yet but my dad obviously can see i'm trying harder and being responsible. I love my dad!

New Year, New Me

New Year, New Me

With the New Year day passed I have finally decided on a new year resolution. Though many people say their's is to lose weight, I'm accepting of who I am and my weight. If I lose a couple pounds here and there, great. But not on my priority list.

Lately I've been interested in cooking and baking. I made popcorn shrimp Po' Boys for New Years Eve which were amazing! I think it was the random concoction that made up the dressing. A mix of mayo, ketchup, dijon mustard, pickle relish, and a smidge of hot sauce. I couldn't have enough of it. Using Panko crumbs and seasoned breadcrumbs in the coating was really good too. Made it incredibly crunchy. I'll have to remember that next time I fry up a breaded meal.

Yesterday I attempted to make fudge after work. Didn't turn out well. I felt like it was a waste of cocoa powder when I checked it this morning. Bummer, I know. Oh well, practice makes perfect right? So I hope and pray anyway.

On to my resolution, I decided mine will be to become a better cook. I bought myself a baking cookbook from Amazon which I should be receiving this Friday. I'm rather excited about starting to make things I find in it. I really want to try to make pumpkin rolls sometime. yum!

Perhaps i'll even try to read more books than I did in 2017. As it turns out, I read 13-14 last year but I believe I can do better this year. Lord knows I have enough books in my room to last me a lifetime. Not to mention a few novels in my brother's old bedroom; which is actually supposed to be the house Library with it's built in bookcases. I'm working on a few right now. Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone, Practical Magic which i'm almost done with, and Midnight Crossroad which is the novels the television show "Midnight, Texas" was loosely based off of.

My friend sent me a message on Facebook with a bloody brilliant idea. Get a mason jar and every book you complete in 2018 put a dollar into the jar. Then at the end of the year, use that money to buy yourself something bookish (new book, bookmarks, etc...) I'm definitely going to go steal one of my mom's mason jars to do this this year!

What is your New Years resolution for this year? lose weight?, get a forever lasting task done?, new hobby?, budding romance? so much to consider in the new year. Have a great New Year to all of my readers!