A Boy To Cherish

A Boy To Cherish

Tomorrow will mark the 5 year Anniversary of a child who has changed my life! 6 years ago I ran away from home and was the worst parent imaginable leaving two children behind. I was extremely selfish and reckless. I had ran off to Arizona with a former boyfriend. He was my highschool sweetheart and was in the end toxic to me. He too was selfish and Obsessive and set in his ways. I had been up all night with horrible cramping and stomach pains. I walked myself to the Arizona Hospital in Tucson where I discovered that I was pregnant. I had been told previously that it would be hard to impossible to get pregnant again after I had a Leep procedure done to remove cancerous cells in my uterus in 2009. Upon trying and not succeeding with my husband I figured that was that. So you could imagine my response when I was in the ER and told I was pregnant. I actually said "I'm sorry there must be a mistake, I can't conceive anymore. Please check the results again" Sure enough I was but little did I know that child would be my light at the end of a dark tunnel. I stopped smoking weed and cigarettes and quit drinking. Things went south between me and the father and I contacted my family back in Ohio and pleaded to go home. They accepted me back. My pregnancy was very difficult. I wasn't medicated for a time and my emotions were all over. I was crying every night due to the manipulations of my husband's phone calls and cruel texts. I self harmed almost daily and ended up hospitalized almost every other week for self-harm and to monitor the baby due to my reckless acts of hysteria and mental decline. I was asked if I planned to keep the baby or put him/her up for adoption and if i'd ever care for him as I do my other son with my husband. I didn't have the answers. For the longest time I wasn't thinking in my right mind and had posted a status on Facebook saying I won't tell anyone when it's time and give birth in my bedroom alone. When I was in my 7th month I was then medicated and doing better. My only problems were morning sickness and cramping. My whole overture changed and I stopped self harming by cutting off all ties with the husband and keeping myself med compliant. I became excited for the baby and couldn't wait to prepare for his arrival. I was inspired to name him Tristan Danyael. I am a big movie buff so I named him Tristan after the main character in the movie Stardust and Danyael which was the name of an Angel in one of the Prophecy movies. Tristan was born May 11th all natural and I cried tears of joy when I saw my beautiful new son. I had one more excursion after his birth where I stayed with a man a couple nights in July and was then no longer able to breast feed my son but after that I changed. I dedicated myself to my boy. 

I stopped running away and put him first. I would occasionally go out on dates but even now I don't anymore or even go out to anywhere but work and my appointments. It's hard to believe that he's going to be 5 years old. Where did the time go? He's normally a sweet caring boy but can be a little stinker like most boys are. I'm proud to say I had a big hand in his potty training and he's extremely smart. He always finds new surprising ways to make me so proud of him. Mommy loves you Boo! Happy 5th Birthday to my handsome and adoring son!