Why I Would Never Subject My Parents To A Nursing Home

Why I Would NEVER Subject My Parents To A Nursing Home

My Biological Family

When I was three I was put into Foster Care and Adopted by a ridiculously loving and at times tough loving family. (Above is my birth family, Top Left: My mother Mary Coyne, Top Right: Harry (Douglas) Coyne Jr., Bottom Right, my sister Yvette Coyne, and Bottom Left: Myself aka Angel Coyne) Even though on paper they no longer have any legal rights to me they will always be my birth parents and I love them dearly.

My Adoptive Father and my youngest son

My Adoptive Mother and my youngest son at his birth

Pictured above are my adoptive parents. Anthony Sr. and Rita Bar. My Father was the tough loving type always was and always will be and throughout my teen and young adult life I hated him for it. My mother Rita on the other hand was always sweet, gentle, and loved you unconditionally with every last ounce of her heart type. With all the stories I hear about Nursing Home abuse, I'd never dream of letting all four of these people live their lives out that way. I wouldn't wish that harm on my worst enemy. My birth parents were rather young when they had me. My mother was 18 and my father was 21 or so. My adoptive family however are older. When I moved in with them my mom was 43 and my father 46. Both my mother and my mom have always expressed themselves in a creative manner whether it be latch hooking, sewing, gardening, painting. They know how to get work done. and my Father and Dad have always been the handy types. My father has always worked in construction and roofing while my dad was a lineman up until his retirement. but they were always doing something with their hands whether it was rewiring electricity lines through the house, changing oil and tires on the vehicles, or plumbing. My mom was there for two of my son's births My adoptive parents put up with so much from my troubled life and I have treated them very poorly in the past. but before you judge me, I have been trying every day to do something to make up for it now since their older even if it's picking something up for them off the ground because they have trouble kneeling now I volunteer to do laundry, take out the trash, move heavy objects. All this I didn't bother to ask them when I was younger. Now that my Adoptive parents are older I enjoy spending time with my Dad and attempting to be creative with my Mom.. My Birth mother was always young at heart. I remember going to her place when her and my father got divorced and watching scary movies and gardening. My most memorable moment with her was having a hose fight one night while watering the garden and her teaching my sister and I how to dance and be limber. My Father taught me how to make amazing Cream of Chicken noodle casserole. It's so easy to make but it's delicious. I also remember his visit to Hawaii when I was living there with my ex husband. My then husband climbed into the trunk of my dad's rental car and my husband directed us where we were going. my father ran over every bump he could find. He never liked my husband, neither did my adoptive parents. I should have taken that as a sign honestly.  I also had my first motorcycle ride with my father. My birth parents always got me nice things for the holidays and always came over to see and meet the grand-kids. My mother was reluctant to meet the grand-babies because she was convinced she was too young to become a grandmother but after time and a short falling out she did accept the inevitable and confessed to me that she keeps tabs on them through Facebook until she gets a chance to meet them. My dad loves his grand-kids particularly my youngest. He's always wanting to take him to the beach or the coolest playground and just overall spend time with him though he will yell at him when it's called for because he's still a tough loving grump. All this pretty much explains why I couldn't bear to see any of them in a Nursing home. You pay people to abuse your parents and that's just not right. When that day comes I will be their caregiver. My parents love me and I will in a way pay that love back when they become helpless They changed my diapers, fed me, taught me how to live in this world and make something of myself the LEAST I can do for them is the changing and feeding. They will forever be wiser than me. I want to spend as much time as I can in their presence before it's too late. Whenever my mom makes something I want one too. not because I have to have everything she makes for other people or for jealousy issues as she thinks it's because of but because I want to collect lots of  things she made with love to have when her time comes. She has always been my best friend and I want to have as much of her as I can. My Dad was never very artsy or i'd have him do the same, I just document our time spent in diaries and pictures and always volunteer to go places with him just to make a memory. I love you Mother, Mom, Father (Daddy), and Dad I want to make you proud!