A Shot At Love

A Shot At Love

I've given up on men for a while but there was one guy I had been talking to for years. We'll call him Lumber-Jack due to the huge beard he carries on his chin and to protect his privacy he remains to stay anonymous. Now I met Lumber-Jack on an app called Whisper around four years ago. We hit it off pretty well and our conversation was relatively flirtatious. The thing was we could hold normal conversations. We would keep tabs on each other on an app called Voxer where we would send each other short verbal messages or texts while he jogged or was at work. We would go in silent mode for months at at time but then out of nowhere iI'd randomly hear from him again. I'd tell him about family troubles at home or about horrible encounters or relationship problems. He was always very easy to talk to. He always seemed to keep his to himself. He was always pretty private. He may be a little annoyed that i'm writing this. Sorry babe I'm a blogger and that's what I do blog about my life you just so happen to be my inspiration this point in time so forgive me. He's always had a bit of a crush on me and I still don't seem to know why. I'm over weight, I have no way with words I'm not at all graceful or photogenic even though my best friend will tell you different, though I think she'd agree with me on my way with words (I've hurt her feelings with how I've said things quite a few times) I'm just not seeing what he's seeing). Might I mention He lives in another state? Sorry not gonna disclose that either. I've told him I'm not interested in sex and though I've hurt his feelings in that I've made him feel better by also disclosing it's not just him, I'm not interested in Magic Mike star Channing Tatum or Christian Grey either I'm just not a Sexual person at all. I told him I'd understand if he couldn't handle talking to me anymore after all my problems I've laid on him. Which he says is "no biggie". Most guys would have gone running in the other direction with that disclosure. I told him how I went to the local Urgent Care clinic yesterday and was diagnosed with Bronchitis and they suspect Neuropathy i both of my legs as well, he just told me "I'm so sorry" he's told me in the past he cares deeply for me and other things he'd probably wish for me not to disclose. I used to hate his lumberjack beard but after all the problems he's stuck with me through I don't find it a problem anymore and I could very well think he could be my "one" like in a fairy-tale. I'm just afraid after all the losers who have hurt me and who have taken advantage of and who have beaten my heart down to a pulp it's not capable of giving to someone actually deserving. He wants to take a flight to visit me sometimes soon and he's not even expecting anything physical, he's hoping as any man would it's just a brain functioning mechanism thing but he's not expecting it to. He is even open to a relationship forming and that it's my call. So we'll see what happens I guess,