A Big Change Will Do You Good

A Big Change Will Do You Good

With everything that's been going on in my life and my self-esteem at an all time low due to how people treat me most of the time has inspired me to at least make a physical change to boost my morale about life. I decided to book a spa day for my birthday which will include a hair cut & style, eyebrow waxing, a gel manicure, and a pedicure. The only drastic thing about this is the haircut I plan to get. I have some prominent male facial features as does Keira Knightley so I settled on a pixie haircut that she rocked wonderfully. 

I usually wear my hair long and straight down to my chest but I thought it was time for a big change so i'm going to give this a shot. Good thing hair tends to grow back right? So I scheduled my spa day for July 15th at 1 p.m. I am extremely excited for this change and hope it boosts my self-esteem a bit. It's not that I idolize this woman and want to look like her but I was really going on facial features. She has a prominent jawline and very beautiful brown eyes. I think my eyes are decent enough. sure my jawline isn't like hers but I've had short hair in the past and grew to love it because it was very easy to manage. A little hair gel to spike it and I was ready for the day! I wanted to grow my hair out even longer till it reached down my back but then I began second guessing myself. That's more of a 90's way to go and even though i'm in denial about it at times the 90's was in the past and I need to get out of it. I will be saving money for 3 weeks to have enough for everything I want done and found a reasonably priced salon and spa near where I work.

I'm a little nervous because the host on the call when I was pricing it all out at first sounded a little stuck up. I hope the rest of the personnel are a bit more welcoming and friendly. She did warm up a bit after I described how I wore my hair, it's length, and then told her I wanted a "pixie cut" she was like "oh wow, really?" in a little friendlier of a tone and then I pursued to book their services and she found a time that would work best for me and them and booked me with a male stylist who she was confident could do what I wanted.

I just need a special day to pamper and spoil myself. I'm not fortunate enough to have a man that will dote on me now but that is because I have no interest in any men or in love or romance at this point in my life. It will be rather refreshing to do something drastic. I don't know if it's because of my bi-polar disorder and I need to do something extremely crazy and impulsive like cut my hair extremely short (the last time I didn't really have a choice) or if it's just because I find shorter hair a new trend and easy to manage. Perhaps a little of both in all honesty.

My parents have no idea I plan on cutting it this short and I by no means plan to tell them for I want to make this decision on my own. Unfortunate thing about my mother is she needs to have control over everything, my father is a bit more laid back when it comes to what people want to do. So I'm already mentally preparing for my mother's negative reaction when I come home after my day at the salon. If you ever come into the money to take the first steps at finding a way to boost your self worth or self-esteem, take it. We all deserve to feel even a little bit better about ourselves because in the words of RuPaul Charles, "If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"