Friday, August 11, 2017



It's not easy being an adult. I wish I could still be a kid, Play with toys, use coloring books with Disney characters. Color them in with crayons or markers. Watching cartoons at 7 in the morning. Have people cook me things like corn dogs or Spaghetti O's. Play outside until the street lamps would come on and it was officially time to go home. Pretty much having no care whatsoever to the world. We were oblivious to the dangers around us.

Unfortunately, I'm an adult now and with that comes burdens and responsibility. Now you have to have jobs, make money to pay bills, and sometimes take care of your kin and children. I upkeep on a Excel Document containing 5 different spreadsheets all pertaining to my budget and my reoccurring payments. I spent over an hour updating it today alone. I'm currently at a job and attempting to get a better one. I live paycheck to paycheck and stress out constantly.

I have my own offspring and am doing it alone aside from help from my parents. I am a single mother with poor tastes in men so I've given up looking. My son tends to burden me when he's being mean or bossy. There's joys in having him too though. I have to make sure he's bathed and fed. I also have to make sure he has things to do to stay out of trouble and discipline his bad behavior. That's honestly not easy either. I don't regret having kids but I think i've should have been more cautious. It's too much to handle sometimes.

My day consists of waking up, having a couple cups of coffee while I get my dog out and back in from a potty opportunity, I get ready for work and make sure I have everything I need for the tedious commute there by public transportation since I don't drive. I have to keep up on my appointments which happen constantly. I can't afford to forget shit which is hard because i'm generally an extremely forgetful person. I have to work my hours and come home and as soon as I walk in the door, my son needs me to do something whether it be help him with his computer or fix him his favorite food, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I then do things around the house like clean up the kitchen, do the dishes, take out trash. 

Now I have to worry about all the threats out there and the substance of the news. You can no longer let your children go out to play on their own because even in my neighborhood there has been violence. You can't take your child to the playground and assume it's safe. You have to fear for the crooked government and see all the terrorist attacks on television and pray to God it never happens locally. For example last year I was terrified about the NBA Championship parade in downtown Cleveland. It was the perfect set up for a terrorist attack to occur, so many people gathered in one spot.

I realized I've grown up completely and things that never bothered me drive me crazy now. Ignorant "adults" Other children bullying yours. The constant news of deaths and suicides. Facebook is generally a pretty cruel place. There's live videos of murders and suicides an easy target for cyber bullying by other "adults" as well as children. With the invention of cellphones now you have to worry about their content. Is anything illegal happening? Is your child being bullied? What exactly do they see online? What dangerous "game" are your teenage sons and daughters going to play next because it's a new trend? These are all questions we now have to consider as adults. How I wish I could go back to childhood.

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