Rough Day

Rough Day

Yesterday was an extremely rough day. My mom was still on her cruel streak. First she woke me up at 10:15 and acted like I don't do anything around the house when i'm the reason why toys are picked up, Kitchen is cleaned up, dishes are loaded and put away. Sure I enjoyed some heavy reading that night too but you know what? I deserved that shit! I woke up and she had a ladder in the middle of the hallways so she could paint. I said I was too fat to get passed it so she said "actually, yes, you are" What a great start to the morning don't you think?

I went downstairs where everyone seemed to be on edge due to my mother's behavior. They were all trying to avoid the backlash she unleashes when she's stressed, aggravated and most of all in an alcohol daze. She gets extremely mean and argumentative to everyone in the house but mainly to me and my dad. I stayed in the living room most of the day except for maybe 1 hour that whole day to shower and try to install a PC game that ended up being defective and I had to return. I played with my son a great deal that morning. At least he was in a generally good mood that morning.

I decided to get dressed and do my makeup which wasn't as Gothic look and I spent a majority of my day venting to my best friend. The other day my "housemate" Kenny said some pretty cruel things and now I won't talk to him and prefer to not have anything to do with him since his true colors came out. I was overly done with all the abusive bullshit in that house.

Yesterday evening my dad was having some pretty negative thoughts. He asked me if I enjoyed living there. That if something happened to my mom he's going to sell the house and everyone will have to look for somewhere else to go. I'm now motivated to get into low income housing because I feel that time may be coming sooner than we think. We're all extremely worried about my mom. She acts active but she's sicker than she realizes and needs help. Not that she would accept it. She used to go to AA and then come home and drink wine after. Like what a waste of time if you're not going to take it seriously.

I went to sleep pretty early that night and was extremely thankful I had work in the A.M. I can't stand to be in that house. Everyone is cruel to me with the exception of my father.