Saturday, July 15, 2017

Ups And Downs

Ups and Downs


Mt new Medicine, even though most of the time it feels like a miracle drug, there's till ups and downs. I sometimes feel on top of the world, but at other times I feel like i'm in a slump not wanting to do a damn thing all day. I hate this roller coaster of productivity. I feel on top of the world some days and then lower than low a couple other days. So far my highs have lasted about a week but then out of nowhere comes my down days that last between 2-3 days in between.

When i'm having a high day i'm extremely productive. Such as today, I got a lot done. I woke up at 8:30 this morning and did the dishes, washed the left over dirty dishes by hand, cleaned up the kitchen, changed the food and water in the birdcage, reran the clothes dryer, and read a bit. I am now relaxing with coffee and listening to my favorite Christmas song on repeat (don't judge, it's Christmas in July!).

On my low days, I sit on my ass. I just lounge around on the couch playing with my phone. I feel as though an anvil is being forced through my body by gravity and feel so sluggish and depressed. I barely get anything done that day. It's like I resort back to my old self but luckily it doesn't last too long, just a couple days and then i'm back to being productive.

How I wish it was more consistent. I hate having these low days it's just terrible for me. I get more approval from my parents when i'm productive. When i'm not as productive, there seems to be a lot of arguments and I would prefer that not happen.

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